Death of a Bachelor
by NutellaMisfit
Summary: After a forgettable night, Edward and Bella meet ... just how unforgettable can the next one be?


I woke up face down on the floor.

Sore as hell back and the crick in my neck were killing me.

What the hell happened?

My head was pounding and the room smelled like alcohol, cigarettes and burnt something.

Emmett's big ass was passed out a few feet away from me on the sofa snoring loud as hell while Jasper was groaning like he was dying as he sat at the table. Royce was smashed cheek down against said table mumbling in his sleep. I turn over and movement in the bathroom catches my eyes. I can barely keep my eyes open at this point and I'm trying my hardest to see the feet that keep moving around from under the door. I'm about to give up when the door swings open revealing a woman wrapped in a towel and she's holding her phone tightly to her chest.

Our eyes meet and I couldn't do anything but grunt a response to her smile.

I close my eyes as the room begins to spin and I can hear her shuffle to the room down the hall and close the door.

The next time I wake up, she's gone.

xxxxx

"Edward!"

I grimace at the sound of my name. The too loud voice calling me is now chuckling and I want to sock his ass. I've barely recovered even after sleeping most of the day away and seeing as that whatever the hell we made last night was inedible we all reluctantly, except for Emmett, decided to venture out. I put pressure against my temples and look at him through my Ray-Ban sunglasses.

"Asshole. How the hell are you fine and I feel like I'm on my last lifeline here?"

"Yeah," a yawning Royce pipes up saying. "You're so damn bright eyed and bushy tailed and we all drank the same nasty ass concoction … didn't we?"

Jasper is still asleep and shoved up against the window and Emmett grins leaning in towards us.

"Yeaaah … nah." He pulls away laughing and I fling my fork at him in frustration.

"What the hell dude! You trying to stab me?" he cries out as he dodges my spoon this time.

"Who the fuck was in my place?"

At this he looks over my shoulder causing me to do the same and behind the counter is a tall, leggy blonde that winks our way.

 _Of fucking course._

I roll my eyes which was a bad idea with the pounding in my head and slouch down in the booth pulling my sunglasses off my face. Royce is fist bumping Emmett and Jasper is scaring away any young, pretty perspectives for the night with the drool that was very evident.

A hum coming from the booth in front of me is a little off tune but not bad. It catches my attention and I can tell it's female. Obviously she must not hear us because with as loud as we were being I'm sure she would have complained by now.

The waitress from the counter walks over to us placing down huge plates of fries, wings and grilled cheese sandwiches that I immediately dig right in. Emmett snorts and I hold up my middle finger as the greasy goodness from the wings is breathing life back into me. At the smell of food Jasper slowly comes to and groggily reaches out grabbing a handful of fries. He smiles in appreciation as he shoves a few into his mouth obviously still in a sleeplike state and we all just laugh.

Then I hear her voice.

The girl in front of me calls out for the waitress and I can't help myself so I watch her.

She reaches out with her dainty hand, lifting her coffee cup into the air and when she turns to the side I catch her profile and I want to see more. From what I've caught, her smile is bright and genuine. Her eyes crinkle on the sides and her voice is soft and pleasant. The one thing I couldn't really see was just how full her lips were.

What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good pair of pouty lips.

"Close your mouth, dude." Royce says chortling and I shake my head laughing. Leave it to these assholes to fuck up a moment.

As we all get our fill of food, I sit back when I finally feel full and stare at the back of her head. She hasn't moved from her spot and I'm now wondering why that is.

 _Fuck it. Go For it._

I rise from my seat under the guise of going to the bathroom and just as I'm about to make my move some blue eyed, blonde hair, pretentious looking asshole slides into the seat across from her.

"Mike! I'm glad you were able to …"

Blah, blah, blah.

You snooze, you lose as the going says.

I go with my original plan and visit the restroom. When I walk back to the table, I'm on my phone typing a text to Alice that I don't even notice that it now sits empty. Upon looking outside, that's when I see that on the window is Royce and Emmett rubbing their asses against the glass in what I can only assume they think is a seductive gesture.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath and the girl that I was watching, like a damn creeper, laughs.

"Your friends, I'm assuming?" She asks.

I nod chuckling nervously.

"Yep. Unfortunately." I say as they now hug each other pretending to make out with one another.

I'm killing these fuckers.

As our eyes meet, she blushes looking down at her lap and clears her throat avoiding the window. I look up to see Jasper has now joined them and is fake humping Emmett before moving over to a now mouth wide open Royce.

"I swear it's never this bad." I say rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment.

"No, it's all good. They seem like fun."

We laugh in unison and Emmett knocks on the window crooking his finger at me while wagging his brows. I look over to the beautiful girl beside me and she just smiles. I ignore them. That pretentious asshole is nowhere in sight and I turn my back to the guys.

"Where's your date?"

"That wasn't my date. He was just a friend of mine from work," she says smirking slightly.

At this I smile.

"Well, if you're not too busy, I'd like to take you out sometime."

She looks at me pensive and I'm standing there nervous as hell. I can only imagine what she must think of me after the debacle of the Three Stooges near the window. Without a word she takes hold of my phone, unlocks it and goes straight to my contact list. After she's done she holds it out to me and I grab it.

"Find me in there and text me later."

I grin like an idiot and nod. After we say our goodbyes, I head out to the parking lot where I proceed to punch all three of them in their arms when I reach them. Emmett grumbles like a little kid as he sticks the key into the ignition and Royce and Jasper just snicker.

No way was I going to say thanks just yet.

Not until I see where this date would take me.

xxxxx

Once I was in the safety of my apartment, I take my phone out and go directly to my contact list. I was scrolling down when right there just below Alice's number was a name that was not familiar to me.

 ** _Bella Swan._**

I couldn't help the shit eating grin that crossed my lips. The way that the guys were acting was pretty much an ice breaker because unbeknownst to them without their little show I really do doubt that we would have spoken to one another.

I cross my living room to the sofa and take a seat thinking about what I can send to her. She seems like the cool, go with the flow type and I can't help but to chuckle.

As I sit there my phone dings with an incoming message and it's Alice.

 ** _What happened to you guys? Jasper still reeks to high hell! ~ A_**

At that I release a full blown laugh. If only she could've seen her little Jazzy as he obliterated himself last night. Hell, no one but Emmett really knows what happened and he at least had the right state of mind to make sure that we didn't burn the place down.

Before I can get side tracked, I close that conversation and open a new one that will be the start of Bella and I.

Now if only I can think of what to say.

... Aaand I've got nothing.

Me, Edward Anthony Masen, has nothing witty to say.

I want to suggest that we go out tonight but that would most definitely seem a little too rushed on my end and if there was one thing that I didn't want to do was scare her away. Why am I finding this simple task so fucking near impossible?! I run a hand through my hair in frustration and set my phone down.

The thought runs in my mind of getting a drink to loosen up and just as quick as it comes to mind it disappears.

I could already see myself getting too comfortable and one drink will turn into two then three and if I was going to reach out to her I needed to have a clear head.

The unfinished bottle of rum on the table is just tempting me though… and I cave in.

After taking a few good swigs, I grab my phone once more and turn it on. Her name is the first thing I see and I can't help the smile that takes over my face.

 ** _Seems I've found you. Now it's your turn to let me in on when I can see you again ;) ~ E_**

I drop the phone down beside me and wait. I get a few more texts some from Alice, others from Jasper and one that definitely wasn't for me from Royce.

 _Well now I know he really is a nasty fucker._

Shuddering as I delete the text, her name pops up and I make quick work of opening it.

 ** _Seems like you have. And I thought the guy was supposed to ask out the girl ~ B_**

Chuckling at her response, I quickly type back …

 ** _It seems that you would be right although technically I already have. But I will ask again, how would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? ~ E_**

I can see the bubble appear as she types and I wait in anticipation. My stomach gets into knots and I can feel the beginning onslaught of BG (bubble guts) rear its ugly head. I set aside the bottle of rum and just watch the screen of my phone. Soon the bubble disappears and her text pops up.

 ** _It would seem that I am available and I would love to go out with you. What time should I be ready? ~ B_**

The overwhelming feeling of relief that flows through me at her words is indescribable. We chat for a while more and as we say our good-bye's, we have now made plans to meet up at a nearby cozy restaurant a few blocks from her place.

Standing up from the sofa, I stretch out with a loud groan.

Just what the fuck did we get up to last night?

Taking a look around I knew that if I didn't clean up this shit show now it would be nagging in the back of my mind. Making a mental note to never do this again with all three of them, I start the daunting task of bringing my humble abode back into tip top shape.

xxxxx

The following day Emmett calls me bright and early and I had half a mind to ignore the call. But of course I don't 'cause I'm a sucker for interruptions, obviously.

Reaching over to my nightstand, I grab my phone and swipe to accept the call.

"This better be life threatening." I say with my eyes closed once again.

He stays quiet and I groan. After a few seconds I hear … something.

Or better yet someone.

"Shh, be quiet."

"Oh god! Yes, right there …"

 _Oh fucking kill me now._

How is it that I tend to get the most fucked up things happen to me?!

I hang up, turn off the phone and burrito myself deep into my covers. And then just as I'm right there slipping back into the precipice of unconsciousness it hits me.

Date night with Bella.

I kick the covers off and lay there in bed smiling like a dumbass. I don't think I've ever been this genuinely excited about seeing someone but she made me think that she could be "the one" to bring my single days to an end.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I finally get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

Today called for a new Edward.

One that would sweep her off her feet and quite possibly keep her coming back.

\-- later that day --

"Edward! You have gotta tell me who the new mystery woman is!"

Alice is practically bouncing in her seat as we have lunch at her favorite eatery. She's always had a thing for getting into my life when it's uncalled for and I had always a thing for telling her things when I shouldn't.

Win-win one would say.

"Really, Alice, it's nothing." I say trying to fake nonchalance as I take a sip of my beer.

She raises her brow with a grin and nods without a word. I knew that look. It was the same one she gave me when she'd found out about my eighth grade crush over Jessica Stanley but not from me.

"Don't." I warn her.

"Don't what? I didn't even say anything."

Sad thing is that she doesn't have to. When she sees that I'm not going to cave in she quickly changes subject.

"Mom and dad want you to come over tonight."

"Can't. I'll be at Eclipse later …" and then its there that I mentally slap the shit out of myself. She smiles victoriously and I shake my head laughing.

"Well, guess I know what I'll be doing later."

"Please just stay in your corner." I groan out.

"Don't I always?" She says back, smiling big.

xxxxx

I'm sitting at the table that was reserved for us. I may have been about fifteen … ok twenty minutes early but I wanted to see her walk in.

Sue me.

I'm fidgeting in my seat when my phone vibrates. I pull it out of my pants pocket and see that Jasper has sent me a text with a vague yet subtle text of ..

 ** _Quit it!_**

At this I chuckle and quit moving around so much. Seeing as that my chaperones were keeping watchful eyes on me, I look between my seat and the one across from me, contemplating what side I should sit on, when she walks in.

I just stare.

All thoughts cease.

I gulp. Actually fucking gulp.

She's coming straight to me in a strapless, navy blue, knee length dress. Her hair is pinned back showcasing her long neck and her shoes … fuck me. Her shoes have helped to make her already long legs seem even longer. I don't miss the stares she gets and when I am in her line of sight she smiles.

Why does it seem like everything went slow motion? …

"Edward!" She says smiling still.

I rise from my seat and she comes into my arms giving me a tight squeeze.

She smells so damn good.

Vanilla and cinnamon all swirled into one.

"Wow… Bella, just wow."

My thoughts are all jumbled and she pulls away with a slight blush on her cheeks. I quickly regain use of my legs and go to her seat pulling it out for her. After she takes her seat, I do the same just a little too eagerly.

"Hope you weren't here long."

 _I would've waited an eternity for this._

"No. Actually I got here a few minutes before you did."

She giggles slightly and that sound along with the way my name drops from her lips are my new favorite sounds. We each peruse the menu and when the waiter comes to our table, I see him stare just a little too long.

"Hello, Jacob! How's everything going?"

He smiles but not really. It seems fake just to appease her and I feel my frustration growing at his presence.

"Hey, Bells. It's going. What can I get you two?"

Her smile falters for a split second and I'm sure that the asshole didn't take notice. We place our orders and he's quick to turn on his heels after he collects our menus. She looks over to me and instead of keeping my mouth shut, word vomit ensues.

"What the hell is his problem?"

She shrugs, looks over her shoulder and turns back to me smiling.

"You might have a little friendly competition."

At that I snort. No fucking way.

"I'm kidding. He's held a torch for me for the longest but I just don't see it ever happening."

If I had my way, no way in hell would dog face boy get my girl.

My phone is incessantly buzzing after that and the more I try to ignore it the more it goes off.

Bella has a face of amusement as she watches me and I sigh in frustration as I put my hand into my pocket.

"You're a very popular man tonight, Edward." She says with mirth as she brings the glass of water to her lips.

"You have no idea."

"Enlighten me."

She moves her seat to be closer to me and when our arms touch there was no denying the electricity surrounding us. I tell her of Alice and Jasper and she in turn plays along acting seductively. My phone keeps going off and when Bella leans in whispering into my ear a sudden cough followed by "Cullen" rings clear across the restaurant.

"I think they're calling you," she whispers in my ear before pulling away.

I sit there not wanting to move. For obvious reasons but also I didn't want this bubble of ours to be gone. When another cough is heard, I roll my eyes and run a hand through my hair pulling at it aggravated.

"Go. I'll be here. You can't get rid of me that easily."

Standing, I give her a wink and excuse myself. When I pass Alice and Jasper, she shoos him to follow me and once in the bathroom he claps me loud on the back.

"Holy fuck, Masen! That's the girl from the other night!"

I give him a "duh" face and he laughs. Soon he gets a call from Emmett and Royce who are together getting shit faced and we are now all facetiming in a damn bathroom.

"Eddiekins!" Royce says laughing.

"Don't call me that, asshole."

"Lighten up," Emmett says grinning.

At this I smirk before saying in a breathy, girly voice, "Oh god! Yes, ri…"

He's quick to tell me to shut the fuck up and I bust out laughing. Jasper and Royce look like deers in headlights and before I can explain Emmett chimes in mumbling.

"Don't worry about it bitches."

That will make him think twice about not having his damn phone on his person when he's doing whatever the fuck he does.

Next up would be Royce if he calls me that again.

"Let's make this quick, boys. Ed here has a date," Jasper says wagging his brows.

"A date? I'm hurt." Royce mockingly says pretending to sniffle.

Emmett hits his arm and then turns his attention to me.

"Alls I'm gonna say is don't fuck this up."

Gee, thanks Shakespeare.

"If she makes you smile," he continues with. "If she makes you laugh and most of all if she takes your damn breath away don't let her get away."

Man, where the hell did that come from?

Everyone is quiet.

That is until a deep voice from the stall behind us says,

"That's some real deep shit, dude."

"That's what she said," Royce says and we couldn't help but to laugh. The guys hang up and we make our way out chuckling in tears. Right before I let Jasper go, I make it known that if I keep getting interrupted I would be kicking his ass. He knows I mean it and will follow through.

Alice smiles and sends me an air kiss as I pass by.

When I reach the table Bella is now eating her meal and I join her digging right into my own.

The rest of the meal goes without interruption.

xxxxx.

"Well that was … interesting," she says smirking a little as she looks at the ground.

I shake my head chuckling and we walk the few blocks to her place in comfortable silence. Every so often I catch her staring at me and she quickly looks away blushing. The kicker with that though is that everytime she looks away she bites her lower lip and that leaves me wanting to be the one doing the biting.

 _Get a grip, Cullen!_

I clear my throat as we approach her building and she stops, cocking her head to the side with a quizzical look.

"Bella…"

"Edward…"

We both talk at the same time and end up laughing at the same time.

She looks so damn adorable.

"You first." I say.

"Well I just want to say that I had a wonderful evening. I don't know when was the last time I had so much fun."

At this revelation, my eyebrows went sky high.

I thought this night was disastrous especially with all the Alice and Jasper bullshit I was being put through.

I thought for sure she'd be quick to leave.

"I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself. And also I need to apologize for the hundredth time about my sister and her boyfriend. I swear it's never this bad."

She grins and reaches out tip-toeing her fingers along the the buttons of my shirt.

"It _usually_ isn't?"

I shake my head lost in her eyes and she leans forward still grinning.

"Does this mean I get to see what a second date would look like?"

Swallowing hard, I manage to find my voice and place a hand on her waist.

"Dare I say yes?"

"I think so."

And leaning in the few inches that separated us I get to do what I've been thinking about doing since the first time I saw her bite her lip.

She wraps her arms around my neck, her fingernails scraping along at the nape and I pull her in closer to me as my mouth descends on hers.

I can tell that she is on tiptoes and as our mouths explore one another I pull her in impossibly closer. She feels so good in my arms.

When we break apart from the kiss, I nip gently at her bottom lip grinning when I hear a small whimper.

She smiles up at me with a blush as she touches her lips only to now bite said lip once again.

"Can I take you out tomorrow?" I ask as my eyes stay glued to her lips.

She smirks a little and I can't help but to grin back.

"Find me in your phone and call me this time."

She leans in placing one last kiss to my lips and winks before turning to enter her building.

Yeah.

Bella Swan was most definitely going to be the one.


End file.
